I live in a 1,440 square foot house built in 1909, spread vertically atop three floors, with four kids, a husband, one tiny bathroom, and a vintage 1950’s kitchen with steel cabinets that no one wants to eat in. Twice we’ve had a bats flying inside the house. I’m reminded often of the Weasley family household from Harry Potter. Only she had a magic wand to help her out.
I’ve always wanted to be a witch. A good one.
A witch with a wand!
When I read the Harry Potter series I identified most with Mrs. Weasley. She’s a hard working, often stressed out, magical Mother of SEVEN children. Like myself, she also has twin boys. They live in the “burrow”. Ron Weasley, Harry Potter’s best friend, describes it as “not much, but it’s home.” In the books, the kitchen is described as a “small and rather cramped room.” Just like my kitchen.
Was Mrs. Weasley content with her lot in life? How did she feel about her modest home and second hand clothing?
Finding contentment with what you have.
Intellectually I know I’m blessed. My husband is a nice man. My four kids are all healthy. They smile and laugh and run around the house shrieking loudly as they leap in and out of bedrooms playing hide and seek. We have a home, and both my husband and I are respectably employed
Despite my many blessings… I’m not content. I’m sad. I’m tired – no, exhausted. I’m angry. I realize my voice is stern 89% of the time and my hair is sticking up in all directions most days. A co-worker actually reached over and started smoothing my disheveled hair down.
Our house is always dirty. Laundry baskets are everywhere. There are stains on the carpet and tiles missing from the bathroom floor. There never seems to be enough time to catch up on laundry, or organize the piles of toys scattered around the house.
I dream of remodeling the house. Adding a bathroom, updating the kitchen and getting the yard landscaped to add outdoor living spaces. It feels like that dream will always be just a dream. I find myself speaking into the future more than I’d like. “Things will be better when _____”.
If only I had a magic wand.
My husband and I have been paying daycare costs for nine years, and counting. We have lived paycheck to paycheck for the entirety of our married life. We’ve made a pact to never borrow money again, and are working towards becoming financially free. But, it’s a long road, filled with daily temptations.
When I sit in church on Sundays I find myself crying. I don’t even know why really. I just feel unbelievably emotional. I’m pretty sure our Pastor thinks something horrible is going on in my life.
But there really isn’t. So what if we can’t take vacations to Disney World. So what if we don’t have granite countertops or new cars. Who cares if our garden has weeds or we shop for second hand clothes.
Living in a little house with six people has it benefits. My children are forming closer bonds. They share bedrooms, and stand shoulder to shoulder while brushing their teeth every night. Relationships born of shared experiences are more likely to withstand the test of time and lead to a sense of belonging and well being.
The three floors means I’m getting in a decent workout by simply moving around the house. With each flight of stairs my butt should be getting toner. Right?!
If I could send a howler to myself, a magical letter that scolds the recipient, I would. I know I shouldn’t whine. Happiness is a choice. If I don’t choose it, no matter what my life brings, I’ll be unhappy.
Bigger, more, or better doesn’t guarantee peace.
A bigger house just means more to clean. More things that can break. More places for the kids to hide away by themselves and live distant lives from me.
When I ask myself what kind of kids I want to raise, one word that comes to mind is, humility. Living in a Weasley house definitely teaches them how to share, be tolerant of others, and to make the best of what they have.
Our brick house is solid. It keeps us warm, keeps us safe, and has been the home to only three families, including us, in it’s long life. The energy here is good. Broken tiles and all.
No one has their life totally together.
Social media makes it hard to believe other people have struggles. All we see is each others highlight moments. Let me clarify, in case you’ve seen mine, my family has struggles. We are far from perfect. We are just doing our best. Day by day.
I’ll try to give myself a little grace, and ask that you do the same. The more we all admit to our imperfections, the less perfect we can all expect of each other, and the easier it may be to find contentment with what we have.
