Climbing the corporate ladder takes time. Which is partly why I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. I’m a working mom, and I’ve always been.
Let’s be clear. I’m a mom who loves her kids.
For many years I was bitter and angry that I needed to work to support my family. However, I can finally say — if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I no longer desire a situation that’s not my own.
My kids are well cared for, and my bond with them is strong.
As they move into school age, I’m proud of my job and can see the benefits of staying in the work force. Not only is my family better situated financially, but from a personal standpoint, I enjoy the mental stimulation and adult relationships my job affords me.
This is not to say that being a WORKING MOM is for everyone..
Each family needs to make this decision for themselves. What is best for one family, is not going to be ideal for another. My hope is that we can all make peace, with whichever decision we make (or need to make).
Both options, if you’re fortunate enough for it to be an option, have positives and negatives. Neither path is necessarily easy.
As a full time working mom throughout 3 pregnancies and 4 children (I have twin boys), certain aspects have been especially challenging.
You can still breastfeed if you’re a working mom.
I’ve pumped breastmilk 3 times a day, at 3 different companies, for a total of 3 years, for 4 babies.
Yes, even if you have TWINS, you CAN do it. Here’s my Inside Scoop on Breastfeeding Twins.
I spent a year pumping milk in a dirty bathroom, a year in a file room where I used a dusty box to set my pump on, and a year in a luxury “mothers room”. All of which were within large, well-known HEALTHCARE companies.
Trust me, it was no picnic.
A low point was when the receptionist walked into the file room while I was pumping, carried on a brief conversation with me, then after realizing what I was doing, sheepishly rushed out. She had UNLOCKED the door to enter.
I missed meetings, and received angry glares from Managers. (Corporate America has a long way to go on supporting our nursing mothers.)
After all that, I’m proud to say that each of my four children received a year of mother’s milk, while I worked. It was worth the extra pain, embarrassment and sacrifice.
You WILL miss some FIRSTS as a Working Mom.
Feel free to throw yourself a pity party over this point. It’s true. You will miss some of their “firsts”. As a SAHM you still aren’t guaranteed to catch every first. I suppose you could be sitting in the same room and miss it. But admittedly your chances drop significantly the more hours you spend away.
This hasn’t been as bad as I imagined. Seeing my baby crawl for my first time, FELT like I was catching their first time. It was just as exciting for them that second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth…… etc. time. After all, it takes a human being many times to master something.
I see each new milestone as a progression of tiny moments. Many of which I AM a part of.
In the end I acknowledge that I am the BEST person to be with my baby 24/7 during their first few years of life. If I won the lottery, I can’t say that I wouldn’t cut my hours at work way back. However, I also can’t say that I would quit my career completely. I feel as if I’d be doing a disservice to my family.
I want my children to have the BEST Mommy I can be. But to be that, I need to have something apart from my children so that I don’t lose myself in the day-to-day of bottles, tantrums and snack time.
